Pursuing prestige is dangerous.

I used to want to be famous so bad. I’d watch all the award shows in awe.

I’d watch the Golden Globes and Oscars and get it in my head that I should move to Hollywood to become an actor. And not next week, month, or year, but the next day. I never physically packed up my car, but I did for hours and hours in my head. Every year, every awards show.

The Grammy’s were probably worse. I can actually sing pretty well (though, I’m not sure what Simon Cowell would say about that). And so I’d watch the stars of the moment, as well as those who’ve been successful throughout the years, walk up to collect their awards, give their speeches, and just look so happy in the spotlight.

And after the Grammy’s ended (sometimes even during), I’d turn on my MacBook and open up GarageBand to start making my hit pop single. But then an hour would go by and I’d have 16 measures of vocals. At which point I’d just turn my attention to the Web and start reading.

But after spending hours surfing the Web, I’d become upset with myself. Afterall, I was to be making my hit single. The one that was going to be playing on all the local and national radio stations within a few months. And then next year I’d collect my Best New Artist award at the Grammy’s. In my head, it was a done deal.

The problem was, I’m not passionate about creating music. I never did it as a child, but, perhaps more importantly, I couldn’t spend more than an hour doing it in my late teens and early twenties. Sure, I sang in my high school’s choir senior year and loved it. It had always been a dream of mine to sing in the choir. But I was given music to sing. I didn’t have to create it.

It’s worth emphasizing. The fact of the matter was, I didn’t like creating music, so how could I ever love it?

I’m a passionate person. And if I don’t love what I’m doing, I grow sick of it quickly. But boy, when I’m passionate about something, I can do it for hours and hours, and I’ll block out anything to do it. I grew up socializing way more than my teachers liked. It’d almost always be on my report cards — Steven: “An asset to the class, but socializes way too much.” I just loved talking to people. Still do. And I didn’t care if it pissed my teachers off. I was going to talk and talk and talk. People just fascinate me.

Growing up, I also really enjoyed being active. I’d rarely sit at home for longer than an hour before I’d leave to go play basketball, football, baseball, tennis, you name it. I could do it for hours. Just hop on my bike and jet over to a game. I’d stay way pass dinner time if it was summer. Why? I was really passionate about these things. I loved doing these things.

But I realized later on that I loved these things for three reasons: (1) total freedom to just go out and play whenever, wherever (2) they were with my close friends (3) it was really fun.

Ironically, I don’t think I ever really wanted to be a professional athlete. Sure, I’d get caught up from time-to-time in the hype. But I never really liked practice growing up. I just wanted to play the game. When it came to sports, I cared more about the proceeds, rather than the process, which is a losing mindset for anyone looking to find who or what they love. To find identity.

But back to the award shows.

Many of the actors and actresses who stand up at the Golden Globes and Academy Awards to give their acceptance speeches were willing to be in several short, independent, or low-budget films early on. Just look up many “famous” actors’ early work.

And many “famous” musicians toured around in a van with their band members playing small gigs at small bars and such. Looking back, these musicians would probably laugh at (and cherish) these experiences. But they were just practicing, and practicing, and practicing. Though it may have been difficult, they still practiced.

Now, I’m sure some hit the fast-track and make it to The Big Show quickly. But the question is, will they stay there? Well, the answer lies in whether or not (and probably how much) they’ll practice.

I don’t mean to convey that musicians and actors aren’t attracted to music or film because of the possibility of prestige, fame, and money. That’s certainly a part of it. But what I’m saying is that the musicians and actors that really matter in the world love practicing, playing, and acting more than the other stuff.

To make most films, actors, directors, technicians, and many other staff members have to actually go work really hard on a set for many days and months (perhaps years), to hone their craft in producing the finale –  what you see on The Big Screen (in theaters). And even then, only a few end up receiving the big awards and acclaim.

Though it took awhile for me to figure out, I was “trying” to become an actor and musician for the wrong reason. I just wanted The Prestige.

But that’s what prestige does.

Prestige is alluring, though it’s actually often grotesque because it’s opaque; it misleads people.

To the common beholder, prestige is sexy and practice is overlooked. But for the real craftsmen and artists, the process far exceeds the proceeds.

————

One last thought.

I think success is happiness. And I think for many, happiness is finding whom and what you love in life.

So I think people should spend their time trying to answer that question, rather than being allured and consumed by prestige. And once they’ve found that, prestige may or may not come. And if it does, then it’ll only be the cherry on top. It won’t be enlightenment.

As to how to find love, the answer is simpler than you probably think. But it’s not easy.

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